~National Service~
The list is out last Friday.
So it was yesterday.
When I went online last night,
I have 7 people talking to me about the same thing at the same time.
Same question.
" You got NS or not?"
And I have a confession to do.
I am a chicken.
I don't want to go to NS.
So I didn't check.
I told everyone that
I am going to wait for them to announce it in October at school.
And to quote myself,
"Kalau ada,adalah. Kalau takde, takde lah".
But Sha is being very pushy.
She told me to check.
But, wo pu yau (is that the correct spelling for 'I don't want'?)
She told me that I need to go for NS.
She said something like
"People like you need to go NS."
"People like Daryl and Iona don't have to go NS"
"They're strong."
"Not to say you're soft."
"But you need to go for NS."
WTF right?
Now I am listing reasons regarding NS.
4 - Because the website is, to quote Iona, 'lagging shit!'
3 - Because NS doesn't sound exciting and after listening to Cher telling me how she cried when she found out, lagi la I don't want to check.
2 - Because I really really don't want to know.
1 - Because I'll have post-trauma after checking the website and really bad depression that I will refuse to take SPM thus making me insane on the first week of NS that instead of me being a psychiatrist, i am the one who needs to see the psychiatrist.
2 - God loves me too much he won't send me to NS
3 - Saya belum kahwin, jadi saya tak boleh mati di kem
4 - The food sucks.
5 - A lot of people die in NS.
6 - Saya muda lagi, saya tak nak mati di kem.
7 - I don't want to be stuck in the jungle for 1 month. C'mon, face it. I only go to ONE camp, ever in my whole life. Just one camp. For 2 days. In school. And I missed my cats that night.
8 - I don't want to be sent to a far far away place for 3 months, the 3 months which I totally deserve as a break after SPM.
9 - I don't want to be stuck for 2 months in some university's hostels (that suck from what I heard) to learn about kewarganegaraan Malaysia.
10 - I don't want to share bathroom with people. What if that person has skin diseases? Then I might get it too.
11 - Rape cases happen in NS
12 - People die in NS.
13 - People got paralysed in NS.
14 - Bully cases happen in NS
15 - How to shave my armpits? We share bathrooms for heaven sake! I'll have jungle armpits after 3 months of NS.
16 - The campsite suck. The nearest town is at least half an hour away. Let alone a proper mall.
17 - I cannot survive without proper bathroom, proper water system, proper ventilation system, proper mall and Klang.
18 - I am not made of iron. I don't want to 'dikerah tenaga' under the hot sun.
19 - The uniform is ugly and blue. Who wears blue to play mud?
20 - I will miss malls deeply.
21 - I already have plans during the 3-month break.
22 - I am not moving out of my house till I get my driving licence.
23 - Everyone will miss me when I am away for 3 months.
24 - Refer to reason 23
25 - I will miss everyone
26 - I am more patriotic towards my country at this very moment than anyone in the whole school. Yes, that includes you. The president of Kelab Setia. Who hangs bendera Malaysia around the school.
27 - I don't need kewarganegaraan course. I memorised and understand the whole Rukun Negara.
28 - I can still learn about kewarganegaraan without going to the camp.
29 - Sending me to the camp is a total waste of money of the government. Better the government send me overseas to study so that I can contribute to my Malaysia.
30 - I don't need new friends. I have a lot. In Klang alone.
31 - I am famous.
32 - If reason 31 is not applicable, refer to reason 33.
33 - I think I am famous.
34 - If reason 33 does not make sense, refer to reason number 1 of my 'Top 5 Reasons Why I Refuse to check whether I got NS'.
35 - The Earth is dying. Refer to reason 36 if this reason does not make sense.
36 - Earth dying means bad weather. Bad weather is bad for skin. Who knows I might get skin cancer after NS?
37 - I know basic kawad. I've done my time in kawad. My kawas years are over.
38 - I am well-disciplined. (most of the time). I don't commit crime. Atau dalam kata lain, saya budak baik.
39 - I like to smile.
40 - If reason 39 does not make sense, refer to reason 34.
41 - I'll miss my cats.
42 - I'll miss my computer.
43 - I am shallow like XiaXue and Puteri from 'Gol&Gincu'. Shallow people don't survive in camps.
44 - I am also smart. All those push ups and marching can cause brain juice drainage. Who knows I might be imbecile after NS?
45 - I did a research on NS during my debate season. I see the good, bad and ugly side of NS.
And I did a research opposing NS. You don't want to know what I know about NS.
46 - I have asthma. So, the probability of me dying during the activities is higher than Iona, Daryl, or Cherylyn.
47 - I cannot survive under the circumstances of lack of stuffs. Refer to reason 17.
48 - My Daddy loves me. He wouldn't allow me to go there.
49 - If reason 48 does not make sense,Refer to reason 23.
50 - I know that I can do better even without National Service and I can prove that I can contribute just as much as those going to NS in the future eventhough I don't hold M16.
51 - I love peace. Why do we need to prepare for War? You don't go around being racist, you don't leak information to other country, you stick together, there won't be war. So no need NS la.
52 - I don't do labour unless if I have to. And that is only applicable if you put M16 to my head.
53 - I'll wail in sadness for the next 348 days till my NS starts.
54 - I am strong enough. When I need to.
55 - NS doesn't give much reason as to why I need to be strong. Refer to reason 54.
The list is out last Friday.
So it was yesterday.
When I went online last night,
I have 7 people talking to me about the same thing at the same time.
Same question.
" You got NS or not?"
And I have a confession to do.
I am a chicken.
I don't want to go to NS.
So I didn't check.
I told everyone that
I am going to wait for them to announce it in October at school.
And to quote myself,
"Kalau ada,adalah. Kalau takde, takde lah".
But Sha is being very pushy.
She told me to check.
But, wo pu yau (is that the correct spelling for 'I don't want'?)
She told me that I need to go for NS.
She said something like
"People like you need to go NS."
"People like Daryl and Iona don't have to go NS"
"They're strong."
"Not to say you're soft."
"But you need to go for NS."
WTF right?
Now I am listing reasons regarding NS.
- Top 5 Reasons Why I refuse to Check Whether I am chosen for NS.
4 - Because the website is, to quote Iona, 'lagging shit!'
3 - Because NS doesn't sound exciting and after listening to Cher telling me how she cried when she found out, lagi la I don't want to check.
2 - Because I really really don't want to know.
1 - Because I'll have post-trauma after checking the website and really bad depression that I will refuse to take SPM thus making me insane on the first week of NS that instead of me being a psychiatrist, i am the one who needs to see the psychiatrist.
- Top 'many' Reasons Why I do not deserve / why I refuse to go NS
2 - God loves me too much he won't send me to NS
3 - Saya belum kahwin, jadi saya tak boleh mati di kem
4 - The food sucks.
5 - A lot of people die in NS.
6 - Saya muda lagi, saya tak nak mati di kem.
7 - I don't want to be stuck in the jungle for 1 month. C'mon, face it. I only go to ONE camp, ever in my whole life. Just one camp. For 2 days. In school. And I missed my cats that night.
8 - I don't want to be sent to a far far away place for 3 months, the 3 months which I totally deserve as a break after SPM.
9 - I don't want to be stuck for 2 months in some university's hostels (that suck from what I heard) to learn about kewarganegaraan Malaysia.
10 - I don't want to share bathroom with people. What if that person has skin diseases? Then I might get it too.
11 - Rape cases happen in NS
12 - People die in NS.
13 - People got paralysed in NS.
14 - Bully cases happen in NS
15 - How to shave my armpits? We share bathrooms for heaven sake! I'll have jungle armpits after 3 months of NS.
16 - The campsite suck. The nearest town is at least half an hour away. Let alone a proper mall.
17 - I cannot survive without proper bathroom, proper water system, proper ventilation system, proper mall and Klang.
18 - I am not made of iron. I don't want to 'dikerah tenaga' under the hot sun.
19 - The uniform is ugly and blue. Who wears blue to play mud?
20 - I will miss malls deeply.
21 - I already have plans during the 3-month break.
22 - I am not moving out of my house till I get my driving licence.
23 - Everyone will miss me when I am away for 3 months.
24 - Refer to reason 23
25 - I will miss everyone
26 - I am more patriotic towards my country at this very moment than anyone in the whole school. Yes, that includes you. The president of Kelab Setia. Who hangs bendera Malaysia around the school.
27 - I don't need kewarganegaraan course. I memorised and understand the whole Rukun Negara.
28 - I can still learn about kewarganegaraan without going to the camp.
29 - Sending me to the camp is a total waste of money of the government. Better the government send me overseas to study so that I can contribute to my Malaysia.
30 - I don't need new friends. I have a lot. In Klang alone.
31 - I am famous.
32 - If reason 31 is not applicable, refer to reason 33.
33 - I think I am famous.
34 - If reason 33 does not make sense, refer to reason number 1 of my 'Top 5 Reasons Why I Refuse to check whether I got NS'.
35 - The Earth is dying. Refer to reason 36 if this reason does not make sense.
36 - Earth dying means bad weather. Bad weather is bad for skin. Who knows I might get skin cancer after NS?
37 - I know basic kawad. I've done my time in kawad. My kawas years are over.
38 - I am well-disciplined. (most of the time). I don't commit crime. Atau dalam kata lain, saya budak baik.
39 - I like to smile.
40 - If reason 39 does not make sense, refer to reason 34.
41 - I'll miss my cats.
42 - I'll miss my computer.
43 - I am shallow like XiaXue and Puteri from 'Gol&Gincu'. Shallow people don't survive in camps.
44 - I am also smart. All those push ups and marching can cause brain juice drainage. Who knows I might be imbecile after NS?
45 - I did a research on NS during my debate season. I see the good, bad and ugly side of NS.
And I did a research opposing NS. You don't want to know what I know about NS.
46 - I have asthma. So, the probability of me dying during the activities is higher than Iona, Daryl, or Cherylyn.
47 - I cannot survive under the circumstances of lack of stuffs. Refer to reason 17.
48 - My Daddy loves me. He wouldn't allow me to go there.
49 - If reason 48 does not make sense,Refer to reason 23.
50 - I know that I can do better even without National Service and I can prove that I can contribute just as much as those going to NS in the future eventhough I don't hold M16.
51 - I love peace. Why do we need to prepare for War? You don't go around being racist, you don't leak information to other country, you stick together, there won't be war. So no need NS la.
52 - I don't do labour unless if I have to. And that is only applicable if you put M16 to my head.
53 - I'll wail in sadness for the next 348 days till my NS starts.
54 - I am strong enough. When I need to.
55 - NS doesn't give much reason as to why I need to be strong. Refer to reason 54.
News update :
I did not get selected for NS.
Cher 'kind-heartedly' checked for me.
One word Cher, 'penyalahgunaan kuasa'.
(But I do it sometimes too.)
I almost got killed when Iona just IM-ed me and threatened to tell me.
I was too scared I closed my eyes and ears.
Sis read the IMs for me.
And I went to pray after I screamt to Iona,
"GOD LOVES ME. HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEND ME TO A FAR FAR AWAY PLACE".
Right now, smiling gay-ly at the screen.
Thanks Cher for checking it for me.
Thanks Iona for telling me
(eventhough you almost murdered me with the news.)
Now, I need to find ways so that I am not going to be chosen for the 2nd, 3rd,4th and 5th batch.
Going overseas to further studies.
I did not get selected for NS.
Cher 'kind-heartedly' checked for me.
One word Cher, 'penyalahgunaan kuasa'.
(But I do it sometimes too.)
I almost got killed when Iona just IM-ed me and threatened to tell me.
I was too scared I closed my eyes and ears.
Sis read the IMs for me.
And I went to pray after I screamt to Iona,
"GOD LOVES ME. HE DOESN'T WANT TO SEND ME TO A FAR FAR AWAY PLACE".
Right now, smiling gay-ly at the screen.
Thanks Cher for checking it for me.
Thanks Iona for telling me
(eventhough you almost murdered me with the news.)
Now, I need to find ways so that I am not going to be chosen for the 2nd, 3rd,4th and 5th batch.
- Top 5 ways I thought that might save me from being chosen for NS in the future.
- Get married. Get pregnant. And have babies. Next year.
- Join Osama bin Laden in his terrorist mission
- Do a big-ass crime that CIA or Interpol have to hunt for me.
- Go join the Unit Keamanan and save people in Utah, Africa or Palestin
Going overseas to further studies.
So which one?
This one is specially dedicated to all who got chosen for NS.
This one is specially dedicated to all who got chosen for NS.
"If this is ever going to make you feel better, i heard if you die in the camp, government is going to pay you 30-35K"
- Sherwin-
Sherwin said it. Not me.
Signing Out,
Khadi survived the 1st ruthless fact of NS.
- Sherwin-
Sherwin said it. Not me.
Signing Out,
Khadi survived the 1st ruthless fact of NS.
This is something that I came up while chatting with Davis just now.
- Ways on how we (the ones who did not get chosen for NS) are going to spend our 3 months and how profitable our activities are going to be.
- we'll go shopping. we're boosting the country's economy.
- we'll learn cooking. so that we can stop starvation
- we'll sleep long hours. we are building the future generation of the country. A healthy generation needs sleep. We're doing ourselves a favour here.
- we'll find boyfriend. we're assuring that there will be future malaysians. because you need boyfriend before you get a husband. you need a husband before you make future malaysians. still, no premarital sex.
- we'll lepak in mamak. because we are supporting malaysia whole-heartedly.
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