Tuesday, December 01, 2009

really wanted a new start

i decided to go back down to basic template.
partially because my cousin whos the frequent visitor of this blog referred to me on the laggy-ness of the uploading of this blog.
and partially because i thought i needed a new beginning.

whats been up with me?
im at my last week of semester break.
yes. im finally done with my first semester of my first year as undergraduate (STREOTYPICAL!).
im glad its over and done with, and i can sweep it right under the carpet, until further 'discovery' shall be made by yours truly or by other people, MUCH MUCH later in the future.

altho i have to say i am majorly freaking out on my result which is on the way in a few days time. HORRIFYING, just to even think about it.
no repeats, the least i could hope for.

ive been fairly excited about starting a new semester.
because my absolute best friend is FINALLY coming in to gombak. semester 1 was definitely TASTELESS without her.
to quote her, "now you have THREE friends, rather than the usual two".
that sucker. ohgod, but love her nonetheless.

ive been absolutely psyched having her around. now i could have my constant companion back on track.
me and bib been missing her a lot, and so is awenah. babe, you have no idea how much we miss you.

next semester would mean a lot of mischievous plans up the sleeves (against bib and with bib) but also it would mean a challenge for the both of us. godknows what await for us.

things have definitely changed since i came to gombak.
i am definitely a new person since i came to gombak, and consequences are not longer the same, neither is the situation.
but being the VERY FLEXIBLE and 'go-with-the-flow' sorta of person we are, i guess what we do is cherish the moment and fingers crossed things would work out.

ive been doing pretty serious readings too these past few days.
BBC, The Economist and The Future of Freedom by Fareed Zakaria.
Nothing interesting. so meekly bleak. or subtlely BORRINNGG!!!
but ive been making mental note to improve on my debate ever since i failed to get selected for royals.

altho i am enjoying my time laughing my ass off at those suckers in campus having 12 hours training for tourneys, i still cant help the feeling that i am missing out on such a big chunk of knowledge. probably not fun, but the attention that you get for being selected, i want that!
yes. i WILL whine about the taxing hours, and the agony of going through mountains of arguments, debating till you go mindless (or brain dead as awenah woud say) but i still want that. i have a deeply rooted passion for debate. something i have passion for, beyond the obligation of debating as a prerequisite of my relationship commitment.

ive also been working out too. its only been two days, of course theres no weight loss just yet, but im being very patient about it. ive let myself go the whole semester, now im paying the price of letting go. its pretty amazing come to think of it, on how 5 kgs that you took 6 months to shed off came back in two months. oh life is very unfair indeed.

ive also done refining activities onto my life, basically improvements on making my life better. like paying more attention to myself, making mental notes and future plans for the upcoming 4 months or so.

i somehow find this urge to really just start fresh, be better than me 6 months ago.

i also have been thinking a lot about things, serious things.
Things that i have swept under the rug and pray the dust bunny wont grow.
Those kind of stuffs. Re-evaluating.
Which is pretty scary.
Because they keep me awake at night.
Like right now, when the clock is showing 2.22 am.

Daryl's leaving pretty soon too.
In less than a month.
Although i have to say, come to think of it,
it almost felt like a roller coaster. its been a year plus behind us,
but we've been through many points of life, individually, sadly not together.
and it'd be more life checkpoints in the future, only this time, thousands of miles away.
i am definitely going to have trouble finding him whenever the missing you mode strikes.

ive approved Pow from facebook.
pow is one of the very first friends i have when i started my foundation.
i hated her guts, as much as i hated arina's.
but you know how hate-turns-love, yeah, that happened, with both of them.
she had to go after such a short period of time being our friends, and we've been out of touch since then.
i know we would rock the world, the three of us.
but if she didnt go away, i wouldnt be where i am now.
being happily in love and satisfied at where i am.

many things that has happened the whole of this year that really took a big hit on arina and i.
theres so much misfortunes happening, it hurt and it ALMOST killed us.
but we came out much stronger, much wiser, much much more thankful for life.
one thing lead to another, so many external forces, names being cut off the list, friends of whom we no longer talk to, trust being lost along the way and hearts being broken in the process.

but one thing is true, there is indeed silver lining in everything.
and we are the living proof of that statement.

ive got wednesday planned to check out the book fair in amcorp mall
and tuesday's tea with iona. just the two of us.
it would do us good, i havent been bonding with her much these days.

now i have to go back to my Economist *dies*

p.s : and i stalked someone's blog!

xoxo,
kdee.

No comments: