MIA - 'Missing In Action'

this is only because ive got pretty pictures, and this is coinciding with whatever i have.

After a trend of hiatus for the past 3 months, more or less, I am back.

I think i should stop having this 'I am going to blog more often' mode, because evidently after the 100th time, I am still, not in the mode.

I am in the middle of my finals now. With only one more paper to go, and feeling more and more miserable after every paper.

I have this strong feeling that says 'You-messed-it-up, woman', now that I am approaching the end of the semester.

Could have done so much, but I didnt. And i didn't know why.

I tried, but its not good enough.

So that, is really irking me off.

I've been in solitude most of the time. If not, only within the comfort of two people, at most, weekly.

I think the world hates me. Or maybe, they're angry that I decided to ditch them halfway through.

Recently, a debate friend of mine passed away. Got into a freak accident in Lebuhraya Karak. Such a nice man, who had dreams of becoming somewhere in debate. And the sad part, i never wanted to know him that bad, rather than the occasional 'hello's at tournament.

The even sadder part, is that I just spoke to him a week before Allahyarham passed away, and he was already telling how he looks forward to see us, IIU debaters at the next tourney.

His sister is coming to IIU in December for a debate tournament, I hope him returning back to God is not going to let her passion for debate wither out, but rather burns it further so she can live a dream that he didn't get to.

I've been getting myself into trouble too. Like a few of 'em.

I'm more angry than often these days. Mostly with the world.

So i shut the world out. And the world did the same.

Back then, i never quite understand how can a person be so angry at so many things, for so long. Its almost like this feeling that you will never get sick of being angry.

But i do now. I get angry with so many things, that the teeniest of thing would irk me so bad that i could burn the place down. or burn myself down. just like rihanna's 'love the way you lie'.

Limewire recently got court injunction. So everyone can delete their limewire software now, because its no good for downloading illegally. Of course, everyone can finally opt for iTunes, where you PAY.

I've seen the iPad. and its so BEAAAUUTIIIFUULL.

no kidding. like i know when things are overrated, but iPad, NOT overrated.

PS3 overrated, LCD HD TV overrated, blu-ray disc whatever shit overrated.

Gladiator shoes used to be overrated. Looking indie (or trying hard to look indie) is overrated.

iPhone 3GS/4 is overrated and Fly Fm anniversary is overrated.

But iPad, NOT overrated.

so sleek, and gives you that comforting feeling. not because its Apple stuff, because you do things you love on it, and you can do it ANYTIME, anywhere.

im into comfy stuffs these days.

twisted one of the vein wearing heels the other day.

almost regretted buying that heels, but decided that i am not, because its such a pretty shoes.

kinda afraid to go home now, cos dad and mom pissed off with some stuffs i did over in campus.

so yeah.

and ive officially removed the word 'holiday' from my dictionary. because i know no such thing.

my debate life has OFFICIALLY replaced whatever holiday that i have for the rest of my degree life.

selections debate, crap as usual. ranking last in the top 12th. so that makes me entitled to ONLY one tournament, Royals, in the second team. Say bah-bye to Botswana, London and UPM (HAHA!)

Aside from how life has withered out to further crappy-ness, other than that, I am just surviving. really.

its already middle of november. what did you do the whole one year to date?

i didnt do much. but time doesnt turn back.

ahhh. sucker.

-kd-