Lack Of Sense Of Appreciation

Now is 5 am in the morning.
Honestly speaking, I have no idea what the hell am I doing in front of the computer typing this post now.
But I am already here, so might as well just continue with what I was planning to do.

Well, the original plan was,
After watching Project Runway Finale (wee!)
I was going to switch between "The Last Kiss" on Star Movies and American Idol.
And then go online sometime around midnight and see whoever is online, and have a good conversation.
However, somewhere in between American Idol and ads,
I fell asleep till like 4 am.

So, when I woke up at 4 am :
- I missed the entire show of American Idol, only getting to watch Ryan Seacrest said "Daniel Cook will go first, after this break!"
- I missed the whole entire movie of "The Last Kiss" except for like the first half an hour (switching between that movie and Project Runway)
- I have not taken my bath since I got back from work
-And my plan to chat at midnight failed, because there were only 4 people online in my messenger list at 4 am in the morning. (and that might just be the computer because the person might just be dead asleep)

*****

I love staying up.

Most people said it's unhealthy.

Ok, so EVERYONE said it's unhealthy.

But still, I continue to do it.

And it has resulted into a quite sever eye bags and dark circles under the eye problem.

Still, that did not stop me from staying up at night.

Nowadays, I have even gotten myself this really hi-tech reason to stay up.

To prepare myself for college life, which requires a lot of sleep sacrifice and sleepless nights.

I want to be able to sleep late,

When I need to sleep late.

So I am currently on a mission to mess with my sleeping cycle.

But sad to say,

The Sister is doing the same too.

In fact, she just went to bed at 4.50 am just now,

And she has school tomorrow.

You'd probably wonder what does a Form 3 student has to do,

That she is required to sleep oh-so-late.

Studying? Fat chance. She just finished her exam.

As much as you're wondering what she's doing at 3 am in the morning,

I am wondering as much too.
But I can't say much to her,

Because I did the same thing when I was her age too.

******

Truth be told,

I love staying up at night because it's the only time of the day in which I get the sense of being alone.

Having the world to my own.

It's like having the whole living room all to myself.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy having a company around.

But when you're surrounded by people all day long,

It's really nice to get away from people and have the time and yourself all to yourself.

In a way, staying up gives me the chance to let my hair down and loose myself.

To do something and not having to pay the price of doing so.

You know, like going around the house in just over-sized t-shirt and nothing else.

That sort of thing la!

*****

Project Runway Season 4 is absolutely awesome.

It's the second time since Jay won,

That I get to see the finale of Project Runway.

Because i missed the 2nd and the 3rd.

Yes, I missed Santino Rice's collection.

Depressing. Yeah I know.

I missed Hatta Dolmat's collection too,

Because I totally forgot the finale was on that day,

And I watched something else.

But I always, always have an eye for the winners.

Like for example, for season 1, I had always prefer Jay over everyone else.

Well, partially because he's so adorable and unique and dramatic.

I also loved to watch Santino at work.

He's like those Amish guys,
With beard and all.

Yet, he's so good with his designs,

And again, very dramatic.

I guess I just love drama, don't I?

And Siriano, eventhough I 'kind of' hate his style (frankly speaking it's a little bit weird, but I can live with it),

I just love those moments when he went all bitchy after he has done his design.

I mean, he's not only bitchy, but he's fast and good.

Perfect combination.

Now that's what we call Fierce! (lol)

Maybe dramatic, weird-looking, eccentric people make good fashion designers?

However,

I have to say that I am slightly disappointed by Siriano's collection during the finale.

I was expecting more of him.

You know, more drama and over-the-top details, like what Rami said.

But it was rather usual, except for that feathery gown of Siriano.

That, took my breath away!

The details are like crazy, i think I would have died putting the feathers on just the sleeves alone.

There were few really good ones,

And I totally adore them.

But black, to me, is just too simple,

And some of his designs,

Like what the judge said, was repetitive.

I hate to say this,

But I think Rami did a better job with his collection because I like his better.

And he gave a more satisfying feeling to me at the end of his turn.

However,

I truly think that Siriano deserves to win,

Because,

1 - I like him
2 - He's dramatic

3 - He's fast, unique and consistent.

We need a consistent fashion designer.

Not one that comes up with funny designs in one runway and blow your mind out in the other.

You've got to agree with what I said, right Sha?

I shall now stop talking about Project Runway.

*****

Moving on,

Recently the country has been talking about the current hottest news.

Yes, even hotter than the news of Angelina Jolie having sex with Brad Pitt.

The news about Dato' Sri Dr. Mahathir Mohammad qutting Umno.

Politics have never been my forte.

Eventhough some claim that I should get involved in politics (because of my foul mouth and diplomatic skill) and one has even suggested me becoming the first woman president of Malaysia.

But I digress.

However, I am simply not interested in politics because I don't know why anyone should memorise the ridiculously long names all of our minister and MPs have.

Those do not include the ones with really ridiculously-sounding name.

But again, I digress.

My point is,
No matter how uninterested I am about politics,

I can't help but to talk about this matter.

Personally speaking,

Regardless of the fact that I absolutely adore and idolise Dr. Mahathir's leadership and what he has done for the country,

I, along with other members of Umno (ceewahh!) can't accept and follow his act.

I think it's simply childish to pull out from a party you've served for the past 22 years simply because he's unhappy with how Pak Lah works and lead the party.

In fact, I believe that he should overcome this problem by being in the party and help them from the inside rather than leaving them stranded to fight on their own.

Dr. Mahathir has been a great charismatic man.

Smart, intellectual, firm and a great leader.

But these days, the way he approaches problems,

Especially with regards to Pak Lah,

Has not shown the qualities of him that I idolise him for.

He's indeed a brave man to be doing such,

Trying to state his point and all.

But he's clearly not helping in making things easy for the Umno.

I know it's really heart-breaking to see your efforts ended up a waste after those long, agonizing years.

But this is not the way to approach this problem.

Pulling out because you disagree is simply unacceptable.

Do not even get me started about Anwar Ibrahim (and his evil plan on overthrowing Umno and taking over and taking over to be the government of Malaysia "bwahahahaha")

And Najib that could not stop talking about Malays.

Sometimes it's not all about the Malays.

We're living in Malaysia, a multi-racial country.

Not with just Malays in it.

By now, politics are no longer about the country or the people.

It has rather turned into a personal war between "menteri"s and "parti-parti".

People has obviously lost the objective of having a democratic government and parties, which is to promotes freedom of speech and togetherness.

Maybe it is true,

As we grow older,

We tend to lose grip of ourselves and our missions in life.

Btw, since we all have upgraded ourselves "untuk bergerak seiringan dengan negara-negara maju dan meletakkan Malaysia di mata dunia",

Everyone has a blog these days.

Kindly visit Dr. Mahathir's one.

His is really insightful but too heavy for my kind of reading.

Dr. Mahathir's Blog

*****

On a slightly lighter note,

I am glad to inform you dear blog-ders that I'll be quitting my job next Saturday.

Which is on the 31st of May 2008.

It is rather saddening to be thinking of quitting the job,

Because I did have a blast working there.

The people, the times I had over there.

I used to recall how I hated working there for like a month because of some issues,

And I thank God I stayed on.

I know it's going to be hard to leave that place next week.

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I have also decided that I'll be taking Foundation in Economy as the next step of my education.

I managed to sit down and talk with my aunt, who's an ex-teacher.

And everyone is supporting me to take Foundation In Economy rather than teaching because it promises better financial stability.

Eventhough I am not very keen with the idea of Economy itself.

But I am sure, with all the supports I got,

I can make it.

Daddy said I'm a smart girl,

And he believes I can do it.

So that is what I shall do.

Therefore I am glad to inform readers that I'll be leaving for Nilai on the 10th of June to further my study in Foundation in Economy at International Islamic University (ha-ha) for a year or two.

And then I'll be studying for Degree (hasn't decided what degree yet) at Gombak's International Islamic University.

So pray hard I'll make it 5 years from now.

*****

I managed to convince myself that Economy is not bad,

Because I came across this lady in the newspaper who has a degree in Economy,

And she worked for some corporate company,

But she got bored (a-ha!)

So she quitted her job and opened a business selling handbags.

I want to be JUST like her!

LOL.

*****

On a sadder note,

I will be staying in Nilai for the next one year,

In the hostel provided for me.

I am praying hard it won't be strict (and ridiculous),

Since most hostels are like that.

It's like the standsrd requirement to be a hostel.

Must be strict, AND ridiculous.

And I am also hoping hard that I will get to go home weekly,

Like Weiguan so I won't miss home that bad.

However, because I have never been away from home for more than 5 days,

I kind of need help with what to bring and what-nots.

The basic suvival kit to survive there and all.

So I hope that people out there could gimme a tip or two on what to bring over there.

Thanks!

*****

Yesterday morning a friend came over to my workplace.

We chatted.

And then of all the sudden, he asked.

"Khadi, pakwe ape cerita?"

The night before yesterday,

I chatted with another friend.

He asked,

"Kau dengan budak cina tu, apa nama dia, Daud kan? Apa cerita?"

The same time I was chatting with that friend,

I chatted with another friend.

She was crazily ranting about her boyfriend.

And then she asked,

"Kau dengan Daryl apa cerita? Ok ke?"

Later the same night I saw a friend online.

We chatted.

And then she asked,

"Babe, you dengan Daryl ok ke?"

Two nights before yesterday,

I met up with my best girlfriends.

One of them asked,

"What's up with Daryl these days?"

Two nights ago,

A friend sms-ed me.

He ran out of stuffs to talk to me.

So he asked,

"Kau dengan Daryl ok ke?"

By now, you should be reading this and thinking that I might have some sort of resentment and depression in my tone because everyone is asking about The Boyfriend.

To quote Kak Diyana,

"Kenapa tanya? Nak bercinta dengan Daryl ke?"

I know the questions directed to me was just out of concern and feeling of 'mengambil berat.'

But I don't know la,

It does sound like macam lah everyone is trying to ask whether he's available or not.

Ok, I am just being paranoid and insane.

So we'll drop the topic.

*****

A chat with a friend some time ago, and recently has triggered me to think about something.

About how people don't appreciate what they've got till they lose it.

That's pretty sad you know.

A good example, me.

I don't appreciate having a home to stay in,

And surrounded by family,

Not until now.

In less than 3 weeks before I have to leave home.

This is especiall dedicated to guys who have girlfriends too.

Spare me this time,

I need to vent this out.

I realised how guys would go that extra mile during the courting part of the relationship.

The flowers,

The romantic messages,

The attention.

Never saying no to every whims of the girl he likes.

And you thought,

Gosh, he loves me so much.

A guy has to love you a lot to do this and that to you.

So you hooked up.

And then, WHAM!

No more flowers.

No more 'hi baby, i miss you a lot' or 'goodnight darling'

No more you-are-the-only-thing-i-want-to-focus-on,

And saying no almost all the time.

This, my friends,

Are what I call lack of sense of appreciation.

(why am I feeling very lala talking about this?)

All I am saying is that,

Don't think that your girlfriend won't leave you after she agreed to be with you,

And you can continue to trample on her and all.

Because she loves you for what you did to get her,

And if you stop doing what you used to do to her,

Then by all means, why should she stay?

Ok, I'm in mess.

Just screw whatever I just said about lack of sense of appreciation.

*****

Fyi,

I'll be leaving for Johor tonight for the next 2 days.

So you know how to reach me.

Will be checking out the place I'll be sending off to.

Won't be Long Before Soon.

Will keep you guys updated!

*****

To : Nisha

Just a small wish of happy belated birthday.

Wanted to wish you yesterday,

But I don't have your number so this is the least that I could do.

May God bless you always,

And may great things await for you in the future.

And btw, thanks for your comments.

I guess I just have to go with the flow and see how things go.

I hope you're doing well too in whatever you're pursuing.

Signing Out,

Sometimes Believing Alone Is Not Enough