I Love

I love sleeping in. Like today, I slept till 12.30 pm.
I love missing mornings.
I love mornings. (self-contradictory. I know)
I love sunrise.
I love sunset (better)

I love shopping.
I love shopping during sale.
I love high heels.
I love handbags (especially over-sized ones)
I love Adidas socks. (I don't know why, but I have a feeling I am addicted to Adidas socks. Fucking cute!)

I love gloomy days.
I love shady places.
I love sky at night.
I love staring at the sky at night.
I love stars and moon.

I love doodling butterflies, flowers and hearts when I am free.
I love talking.
I love reading. Even labels on food.
I love walking.
I love sitting in the car (even better)

I love speaking out loud.
I love laughing out loud
I love cursing 'fuck' at random times of the day.
I love hugging people
I love talking to both boys and girls.

I love speaking in English.
I love speaking in Bahasa Malaysia, just for the sake of being funny.
I love being loud and boisterous.
I love not being punctual
I love being famous for not being punctual

I love my multi-racial friends.
I love reading horoscopes.
I love reading predictions and astronomical stuffs thing that predict your future.

I love House MD
I love Desperate Housewives
I love Sepet, Mukhsin and Gubra.
I love Gol & Gincu
I love all the movies directed by Yasmin Ahmad and Afdlin Shauki.

I love dressing the way I dress now, because this is my style.
I love talking the way I talk now, because this is my style.
I love walking the way I walk now, because this is my style.
I love thinking the way I think now, because this is my style.
I love living the way I live now, because this is my style.

I love being insecure
I love being paranoid
I love being doubtful
I love being indecisive
I love being hesitant

I love being confident
I love being a leader
I love behaving like a miss-i-know-it-all
I love behaving like i-am-too-good-for-you
I love who I am now

I love smell of morning coffee and freshly-baked croissant
I love the smell of lavender
I love the smell of his soap

I love attention
I love fame.
I love being chased after.
I love feeling wanted
I love getting even.

I love them.
I love him.
I love you.
I love me.

I love being the Khadi you know now.

-Demolition of My Personality Is Just About To Start-

i wonder...

is it really possible to be spoilt by someone? to have someone make such an impact on you that he/her changes you whether for better or for worse. yes,we are ultimately our own people, because we make our own decisions and act on our own, but is it really possible?to be affected by someone so much that you forget you're your own master and let someone else take the reins.

its possible.

then, would we really be up for the blame if we screw our own lives up? or if we change so much that we no longer know who we are, all because we were too consumed by those special people? what more if it wasn't 'people' but a person, what about then?

not totally.

but can we blame ourselves for choosing the wrong 'person' or people? could we have anticipated that after loving and being affected by them,they would leave us, would betray us,or just drift away?can we blame them if they feel we're strong enough without them to go on on our own and their absence wouldn't leave a void in our lives? should we feel resentful if they leave us to pick up and mend the pieces of our heart?

maybe.

all the answers are not flat out yes or no. because the real answer is, the world is uncertain and so are its people. no one can escape from changing circumstances or people. that's why they say that you should always maintain a bit of independence, that small bit of heart and mind for you to keep alone and for your own good.

to this, i would say, yes i agree. definitely, as a preventive measure. better for damage control though sometimes, circumstances cannot be helped and we get brutally hurt. we do get left to pick up the pieces and it will hurt for a long time to come.

but really,maintain that small bit, no matter how much you let yourself love another or others. find that small bit of yourself, get the hell up and move on.brave through the hurt. because those people can change all they like, weaving in and out of your life with time, but your passions, your happiness,hopes and dreams, those are always dictated by you. whether your dreams remain unaccomplished or realized, it's up to you. how you react,its up to you.

remain you. be proud of who you are. be strong. and you'll survive, no matter what and who gets thrown at you. it's not about being a hard or cold-hearted person, someone uncaring or jaded. it's about being better equipped in loving others, not wanting to get unnecessarily hurt in the process.which is important.

since all kinds of love are already hard enough on their own

- Qouted from "http://lia-chipsmore.blogspot.com/"

Absolute Anonymous.
But I get her.
Because I felt what she felt.

- Tag -
(I cheated. No one tagged me. But I want to do this tag)

Currently: In denial

Playing: With My Head

Pending: Bag to unpack, gift to wrap and list to write down

What's NEW: A new belt and new brooches. And new necklace. And my kitten died 2 days ago.

Real Name: Khadijah

Nickname: Khadi, Khadid, KD, Kady, Khady, Kakak, Dija, Kathy.

Married: No.

Male/Female: Female.

High school: SMK Tengku Ampuan Rahimah

College: Not yet. Soon to be Universiti Islam Malaysia

Are You A Healthy Freak?: Not so much. I'm too freaky to be a healthy freak.

Do You Have A Crush On Someone?: Yes.

Current status: Confused

Do You Like Yourself: Yes. It's the people around me that I have a problem with.


First..

Surgery: Nope, not as far as I can remember.

Person You See In The Morning: Mom

Award: Can't recall any.

Sports You Join: Lontar Peluru. Has always been the fat, bulky one.

Vacation: Indonesia. That was as far as I can remember.

Concert: Never attended one till today.

I'm About To: No idea. Question doesn't make sense.


Your future..

Want Kids: No. Yes. Maybe. Adopted would be fun.

Want To Get Married: Still stuck in between yes or no.

Careers In Mind: Psychiatrist, Linguist, Translator, Business Tycoon, Oprah Winfrey.


Which is better?

Lips Or Eyes?: Lips

Hugs Or Kisses?: Hugs!

Shorter Or Taller?: Taller. I'm tired of shorter.

Romantic Or Spontaneous?: Romantic. Swoon me over, baby!

Sensitive Or Loud?: Loud. Because loud is fun and I'm loud!

Troublemaker Or Hesitant?: Troublemaker. Always trouble maker.


Have you ever..

Kissed A Stranger?: Nope. But it'd be fun.

Drank Bubbles: Nope.

Lost Glasses/Contacts: Yes. Tragic story.

Ran Away From Home: Haven't (yet). Thought of it before, a few times.

Liked Someone Younger: Nope. Tak main la orang muda. Takde class.

Broke someone's heart: Can't avoid it, but I did.

Been arrested: Not yet.

Cried when someone died: Who doesn't?


Do you believe in..

Yourself: sort of.

Miracles: When it happens, yes. For now, no. I need miracle!

Magic: Yes. I tend to fall for the stupid tricks.

Angels: Like the one with the ring on the head or carries bow around, no. Other angels, yes.


Answer truthfully..

Is There Someone You Want To Be With Right Now?: No. I want to be all by myself now.


Tag 5 ppl:

Tagging will not happen because no one tagged me at the first place.

Signing Out,
Stop Saying It's A Good Place. Saya Rasa Dirasuah.