in the essence of debating

ive made a point to update this blog as frequent as possible,
judging from the fact that im pretty much free and bored at this hour.

its been a very long weekend last weekend.
ive been to a debate tournament that got delayed 4 hours, and then another 1 and a half hour after the motion being released, stretching to us having 3 rounds of debate until 10.30pm.

yes. i was tired. i was cranky. and i was jumpy. and i was ruthless.
so thirst for that feeling of going into quarter finals, my mind was set to one thing, "ill do anything, ANYTHING to have that feeling".

of course things didnt go well when we believed it should have, thanks to amateur judges and also bad justifications.
those who SHOULD HAVE+COULD have gone into quarter finals, didnt get too.
i guess its true at the end of the day, "either you get into quarter finals, or you don't".

if you're good, you're good. if you're not, then too bad.
ahhh..very vicious world.

i had a terrible breakdown too yesterday, being so upset on how the decision of the last round turned out to be. because it was either me going in or not.
its so close you could smell it, and then someone come passes by and fart into your face. thus the smell is gone.
oh well, next tournament then.

on a fairly out-of-the-debate-talk note,
i've got two mid sem exams this week. a quiz tomorrow and debate selections this weekend.
i've been killing myself missing home and friends and leisure because of THIS selection, so im really rooting on doing very well.
i've been loading my brain with FACTS, MATTER AND MORE FACTS.
which is obviously not enough.

you know when it is enough when you start having dreams about the facts you read, and your mind subconsciously analyze the arguments while you're walking on a fine, relaxing afternoon going back to class, simply because you have nothing else to think.
bad. i know :)

what else? hmmm i just got my period yesterday.
which comes along with the crappiest, most painful period pain, EVER.
it was so painful i wanted to slap bib on the face for asking "sayang, are you alright?"
i mean like, REALLY, do i look alright?
it got slightly better after a menstrual panadol, 6 hours of sleep and 4 hours on the phone with arina.
and more sleep today.
in fact i just woke up from my sleep.
haih. i love sleeping.

my uncle passed away yesterday. something about the blood vessel in his brain exploded or such, twas on life support and they took off the plug.
im missing out on his funeral because mom and dad are going today. i cant come because i got classes.
and i didnt wanna trouble them.

this weekend, we're having some sort of kenduri for my granddad's 40 days' since he passed away, which i am going to miss too, because of selections.

im making a lot of sacrifices for debate, i believe i should get somewhere in debate.
a lot of sacrifices, and not really getting anywhere sucks.

and yinxian, i miss you too. very much.
god i miss just purely hanging out with my friends.
i saw iona last weekend for exactly half an hour, and even then i didnt get to talk much because we went to haziqah's open house.

oh well. some things have to be forgone to obtain other things.
opportunity cost. so principle of microeconomics.

and its been almost 3 to 4 months since i started the semester,
3 months since i signed an agreement for my scholarship,
2 months since the closing date to submit my scholarship.
one question : where is my scholarship money?

ive not seen, heard or smell my scholarship money in this short period of time,
kinda make me wonder if they're just scamming us into signing an agreement, so they can have fresh undergraduates like us working for them in the peak 6-7 years of my working life.
Does anyone know when JPA will be giving me my scholarship money?

oh well oh well.

enuff ranting for today. g'day everyone!